"Testing...testing...is this thing on?"Perverse sex scandals are becoming the norm for Republican politicians of late. It seems like almost every week, Americans are treated to a fresh story of some womanizing, adulterous conservative, likely elected on a campaign of "family values." From South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's hot South American tryst to Senator John Ensign's affair with and subsequent payoff of a campaign staffer's wife, GOP sex scandals are starting to become commonplace.
But not this one.
Yesterday, KCAL-9 in Los Angeles reported that Michael Duvall, a Republican state assemblyman from Orange County, admitted - during a state assembly meeting - to having an elicit affair. This piece of human excrement bragged to a colleague about several women he was sleeping with (neither of whom was his wife, it appears). Oh, but it gets better. Duvall was speaking into a live mike without knowing it and the conversations were recorded. ThinkProgress has coverage of it here.
In addition, the two women were allegedly lobbyists for a utility company. Duvall was vice chairman of, you guessed it, the utilities committee. Duvall bragged openly about spanking the women and gave descriptions of their underwear. As you might expect, Duvall has been described by supporters as one who has voted "time and time again to protect and preserve family values in California."
Evidently this behavior was neither novel for Duvall nor surprising to many of his colleagues. KCAL-9 reporter Dave Lopez stated in the piece that:
According to sources, he loves to talk about his 'sexual conquest.' The source goes on to say "it makes us all feel very uncomfortable, but it's very difficult to get him to change the subject.''
I tried to find some good hypocritical "family values" stuff on Duvall from his own website before it was taken down, but alas, I was too late. All that remains of his campaign website is a one paragraph resignation statement:
"I am deeply saddened that my inappropriate comments have become a major distraction for my colleagues in the Assembly, who are working hard on the very serious problems facing our state. I have come to the conclusion that it would not be fair to my family, my constituents or to my friends on both sides of the aisle to remain in office. Therefore, I have decided to resign my office, effective immediately, so that the Assembly can get back to work."
Unlike fellow Republicans Ensign (w/ an employee), Sanford (w/ Argentine lady), David Vitter (whore) or Larry Craig (random airport restroom patron) , at least Duvall had the common decency to resign his office when his sexual indiscretions were exposed. If a double standard exists between Republicans and Democrats on this issue, it is for good reason. To my knowledge, John Kennedy, Bill Clinton and John Edwards didn't campaign with "family values" as a central issue, nor did they almost exclusively court these values voters. But apparently, as far as values voters are concerned, you can sleep around whenever and with whomever you want, but if you support a gay person's right to marry or believe in evolution, well, then you have no values.
While this story might seem like just another "gotcha" moment for the GOP, it really underscores some very serious problems with our government. The fact that at least one of the women was a lobbyist for the very industry Duvall was charged with regulating should not be taken lightly. While it is no secret that lobbyists and their corresponding corporate interests will readily throw money at politicians, throwing pussy at them is something entirely new to me. I can only imagine the board meeting where this was thought up:
CEO: Okay people. We need to have greater influence over the state utilities committee. Let's think outside the box here. Who is on that committee?
Woman #1: Uh, isn't that creep Michael Duvall like the vice chairman?
CEO: Yeah, I think you're right. What do we know about him? He likes to brag about sexual conquests. He's obnoxiously pro-values, so he probably hates his wife. Hmmm....We could send him some hookers, right? But in this economy, who has money for hookers anymore?
Woman #2: Uh, sir... Couldn't WE just fuck him?
CEO: Excellent idea!!! I like the way you think. Now let's get some lunch.
Now admittedly, I don't know all that goes on behind closed doors, but it's a fair to assume that many politicians are already richer that shit, to whom corporate payoffs may not amount to much. It's also not much of a stretch to assume some corporations and lobbying firms maintain women on their payroll to perform exactly this kind of function. If so, it's disgraceful, yet just more evidence that the American political system is gradually being flushed down the toilet.
One final amusing tidbit from the Michael Duvall saga. A source for KCAL-9 claimed that Duvall was overly cautious with what he said or did in Sacramento, saying "you gotta be real careful with what you say up here, because they could have microphones hidden in a salt shaker."
Uh, yeah.... Or hidden in a that microphone in front of your face. Priceless.
